Today was pretty normal... well, the first part anyway. School was fine, even the buggers who said they were going to try and get kicked out. Everything just slides off my back, you know? I think, at least at work, it's a strong point and a necessity for mental health.
I got home, checked the mail, and I got my acceptance letter for my science teacher trip in August. It's pretty cool, because it's 100% paid for, it should be fun, and it looks good on a resume. I'll be in Nova Scotia and PEI for 4 days, looking at everything from forestry practices to a turtle farm. As much as I may already know, I fully expect to have my eyes opened much wider on many things.
Then, things started to go downhill.
I checked the bank account. I expected a certain amount to be in there, and as you may guess, there was a little less in there. No REAL worry, but I hate not having it as high as I think it should be. Of course, I then go down the last couple of weeks, seeing where the money's gone. My Mrs. spent a few hundred bucks on stuff I'd deem to be just "stuff". Clothes, craft supplies, snacks/food, and things I deem unnecessary. Of course, then I start to feel a bit bitter. I try to live, overall, pretty basically. I don't squeeze a nickel hard enough to make the beaver shit, but I like to save more than spend. Sure, I see lots of stuff I'd like to buy (mostly music), but for the most part, I hold off, because I don't "need" it. Then, I see what my Mrs. has been spending on, and I wish I could do the same. Because she spends more, I kind of feel like I should spend less, to balance it out. I don't think it's fair, but I impose it on myself... can't blame her for my feelings on it. I wish I could just buy stuff I want, but then, I think that if I did, and she still did the same, our account would just go straight to pot, and we'd have no money. I just feel kind of screwed. She always gets defensive when we talk about money (in a way, she has a right to, since she spends more than I think she needs to), so I don't like to bring it up, unless I want to feel like the enemy for a while. So, anyway, I feel a bit financially wronged/not in control, I wish she'd spend less, I wish I could spend more, and I don't see a real way around it without me sounding like a control freak and then getting grumbled at.
I decided to play a little XBOX in my room. So, I sat on the couch in my office and f'd the virtual dog for a while (not a real game, just a figure of speech). After a little bit, the phone rang. I sprang up to get it, and stumbled. My lower leg (well, the lower half of one of them... you know what I mean) was asleep, and my knee apparently tranquilized. I tried to step again, or balance myself or something, but I went for a big slip on the new hardwood floor. I landed right on my arse/tailbone, and wrist. It was my Mrs. on the phone. She phoned from the hair place, to see if we needed any groceries. I didn't think we did (but she'd get some stuff we needed and didn't need anyway). I said I'd probably wait for her to come home for supper. As we talked, I also started to get pretty sore. My wrist/arm and lower back especially are still fairly sore. I hope I didn't do something major to myself.
The phone rang again, and I got up more gingerly this time. I talked to my ma, arranged some stuff for the weekend, and that was that.
By this time, I'm getting pretty hungry. My Mrs. comes home, and even though I'm the one who's grumbly inside, I get grumbled at because she imagined coming home to a cleaned-up kitchen / house. So, of course, I feel guilty. I tell her about my aches (maybe digging for a bit of a back rub or some sympathy, since I was aching a fair bit), but get all but ignored on that front. Don't get me wrong. My Mrs. is great, but I'm just trying to establish how I'm feeling progressively worse overall. She's very hungry, and we talk about supper. She then decides to go see a friend for supper. So, I feel like I have to eat hot dogs to use the buns that go bad in a couple days... meanwhile, I'm thinking she's spending money on pizza or something delicious. Terrible, ain't I? So, it was then 7:45, I was hungry as heck, waiting for her to come home, and I get blah hot dogs. By myself. Plus, when I was making them, one of them fell on the floor. And then some condiments fell on my jeans. And when I went out to dress up one of the dogs, and I re-opened the mustard, it shot me... in the eye! I was like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" What the Hell can make me feel any worse? I was achey, alone, feeling guilty or envious or both about money stuff, with stinging mustard in my eye.
Add onto this the fact that there are two concerts and a party I'd like to be at tonight, and now I won't be at any of them. My life ain't so bad, I know... I've got a pretty darn swell, blessed, and cool life. For a while tonight, though, things sure did seem to suck. I just needed to write it out of my system here. Ain't that supposed to be one of the main things a blog's for anyway?
I got home, checked the mail, and I got my acceptance letter for my science teacher trip in August. It's pretty cool, because it's 100% paid for, it should be fun, and it looks good on a resume. I'll be in Nova Scotia and PEI for 4 days, looking at everything from forestry practices to a turtle farm. As much as I may already know, I fully expect to have my eyes opened much wider on many things.
Then, things started to go downhill.
I checked the bank account. I expected a certain amount to be in there, and as you may guess, there was a little less in there. No REAL worry, but I hate not having it as high as I think it should be. Of course, I then go down the last couple of weeks, seeing where the money's gone. My Mrs. spent a few hundred bucks on stuff I'd deem to be just "stuff". Clothes, craft supplies, snacks/food, and things I deem unnecessary. Of course, then I start to feel a bit bitter. I try to live, overall, pretty basically. I don't squeeze a nickel hard enough to make the beaver shit, but I like to save more than spend. Sure, I see lots of stuff I'd like to buy (mostly music), but for the most part, I hold off, because I don't "need" it. Then, I see what my Mrs. has been spending on, and I wish I could do the same. Because she spends more, I kind of feel like I should spend less, to balance it out. I don't think it's fair, but I impose it on myself... can't blame her for my feelings on it. I wish I could just buy stuff I want, but then, I think that if I did, and she still did the same, our account would just go straight to pot, and we'd have no money. I just feel kind of screwed. She always gets defensive when we talk about money (in a way, she has a right to, since she spends more than I think she needs to), so I don't like to bring it up, unless I want to feel like the enemy for a while. So, anyway, I feel a bit financially wronged/not in control, I wish she'd spend less, I wish I could spend more, and I don't see a real way around it without me sounding like a control freak and then getting grumbled at.
I decided to play a little XBOX in my room. So, I sat on the couch in my office and f'd the virtual dog for a while (not a real game, just a figure of speech). After a little bit, the phone rang. I sprang up to get it, and stumbled. My lower leg (well, the lower half of one of them... you know what I mean) was asleep, and my knee apparently tranquilized. I tried to step again, or balance myself or something, but I went for a big slip on the new hardwood floor. I landed right on my arse/tailbone, and wrist. It was my Mrs. on the phone. She phoned from the hair place, to see if we needed any groceries. I didn't think we did (but she'd get some stuff we needed and didn't need anyway). I said I'd probably wait for her to come home for supper. As we talked, I also started to get pretty sore. My wrist/arm and lower back especially are still fairly sore. I hope I didn't do something major to myself.
The phone rang again, and I got up more gingerly this time. I talked to my ma, arranged some stuff for the weekend, and that was that.
By this time, I'm getting pretty hungry. My Mrs. comes home, and even though I'm the one who's grumbly inside, I get grumbled at because she imagined coming home to a cleaned-up kitchen / house. So, of course, I feel guilty. I tell her about my aches (maybe digging for a bit of a back rub or some sympathy, since I was aching a fair bit), but get all but ignored on that front. Don't get me wrong. My Mrs. is great, but I'm just trying to establish how I'm feeling progressively worse overall. She's very hungry, and we talk about supper. She then decides to go see a friend for supper. So, I feel like I have to eat hot dogs to use the buns that go bad in a couple days... meanwhile, I'm thinking she's spending money on pizza or something delicious. Terrible, ain't I? So, it was then 7:45, I was hungry as heck, waiting for her to come home, and I get blah hot dogs. By myself. Plus, when I was making them, one of them fell on the floor. And then some condiments fell on my jeans. And when I went out to dress up one of the dogs, and I re-opened the mustard, it shot me... in the eye! I was like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" What the Hell can make me feel any worse? I was achey, alone, feeling guilty or envious or both about money stuff, with stinging mustard in my eye.
Add onto this the fact that there are two concerts and a party I'd like to be at tonight, and now I won't be at any of them. My life ain't so bad, I know... I've got a pretty darn swell, blessed, and cool life. For a while tonight, though, things sure did seem to suck. I just needed to write it out of my system here. Ain't that supposed to be one of the main things a blog's for anyway?
posted by Steve | 8:49 pm
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