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Steverino ex machina.

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Location: Charlottetown, PEI, Canada

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Oddly small me, flailing arms at a squirrel eatin' nuts in the cupboard.

It's retro time! Before blogs were journals. Who'd have thought that I used to not like writing? Well, at least write about different things. In this old journal, about half of the whole thing is monopolized with posts about Christmas and Halloween. There are some other good entries, like the ones about "Thriller" and the dump cats I posted in the early days of this blog. Classics, if you will.

I thought this one was appropriate for now.

"One Animal I Don't Want forapet is a squrrel because hed get in the coberd and eat all the nuts."
You see, right at this moment, there is a squirrel or squirrels in our building (separate from the house, kind of a semi-respectable / semi-shoddy single-car sized thing full of summery and non-summery stuff). We've tried to poison the squirrel(s) (not my fave option), but it doesn't seem to have worked... unless these are new ones or perhaps zombie squirrels. Every time I go out there to put some empty bottles away or recyclables or something, I can see the footprints in the driftsnow from the cracky door. I can see the gnawed conebits. I can hear them rustling, and occasionally spy one. Every time I go out, I rustle some tarps, shake stuff in the ceiling, stomp, or some combination of the three. I usually say the same stuff, too. Sometimes the order is reversed, but before I leave and lock the door, I say, "Get out of my shed! Fuck you, squirrels!" Then I leave. I hope they know I mean business, 'cause if they don't... those poison-resistant fuckrodents are in for a snap-trap treat. I bet they don't know I spent weeks in 'Nam... I mean, the National Park, trapping small mammals for a Mammalogy class. If that doesn't work, I'll be calling Chuck Norris or David Carradine.

2 Comments:

Blogger Steve said...

Maybe it's Chunks' dreaming that has me worried about my nut supply... HA!

8:42 pm  
Blogger Chunks said...

Hahahah or maybe some repressed childhood memory of Chip and Dale. Oh no, they were chipmunks.

Get a cat. Or a dog. Hey, what'd you do with that Shih Tzu? I bet he'd have chased the squirrels away!

I have images of you a la Bill Murray in Groundhog day, chasing after the squirrels. hahahahah!

11:50 pm  

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