Did you forget to buy your mom something for Mother's Day?
Here's an idea! Voici a snippet to get your attention...

"...the intention was not for children to buy a dildo for their mother."

You just can't make that stuff up.

Here's something that came to mind that I find tough. Tough? No... just hard to look at, I guess. People with eyes that look in different directions. Apparently, it may be called strabismus. Like, which eye do you look at when talking to people with this? How the hell do they focus on things and function? Another thing that's annoying about it is how, in some people, the poor aleyenment comes and goes. Like, sometimes they look all normal, and then all of a sudden they're back to looking like a stunned bloodhound or a chameleon. Do their eye movements reflect their brain activity? Like, they're aligned when they're focused, and wonky when daydreaming? I dunno. I just know that I always found it hard to watch Leanne Battersby on Coronation Street and that beady-eyed freak of nature on 7th Heaven. Thank goodness that show's gone to its eternal resting place.

The only person that could ever pull it off and use it to their advantage was Marty Feldman. Young Frankenstein was awesome.