Some things to think about:

• I'm a bit concerned about the new wave of commercials promising me meds that will help me with my colon flu symptoms in this pre-winter season. What is this colon flu, and where do the meds go? I'm worried.
• Why do people ask other people if they're going to have a baby or when they're going to have a baby? Why don't they just ask you if you've been having unprotected sex on a regular basis? It's the same thing. Weird.
• On a related note, while thinking about the above, I've decided that having kids takes balls. Think about it.